This is when I started, decided, put pen to paper, it is the week things started to get real for me. There have been slow changes over the past few weeks, wash your hands frequently and for the length of happy birthday twice, the chorus of Mr Brightside or for 20 seconds if you’re boring. I quite enjoy reliving my teenage years with a little bit of the Killers (band formed in 2001) as I wash my hands on arrival and departure to the office. But the recommendation has become to wash your hands every half an hour, well that is more than an ear worm, that is a killer. Yet, I wash my hands subconsciously, a trip to the kitchen to refill my drink leads to a handwash, in fact every time I leave my desk the hand sanitiser gets a squeeze. I just can’t stop myself, as the fear of catching it, passing it on, and the worry that it is already here leads me to reach for the hand sanitiser. It’s not just me, the atmosphere at work is becoming one of restrained panic. And rightly so, cases have been confirmed in the UK, and it is no surprise that my work, like so many businesses are preparing for homeworking. My colleagues and I have an ongoing joke: we are going to trial nuclear suits to protect us – not such a silly idea in the current climate. A few members of the team have taken to giving us daily, and this week more like hourly, updates on the virus: confirmed cases, locations, and treatment centres. My own anxiety rises with each update, I can see my older relatives and friends ill and dying – losing people before their time. How can I ever prepare myself for the worst? So, the team all sign up to trial the suits – I wish we could, but we can’t do anything, our situation is helpless.

However, there is something the British public can, and are doing, that has spread a ‘new disease’. It is this week, even though people probably started weeks ago, I can see it for what it is, ‘the panic buyer’, highly contagious I should warn you. It is a time when people are thinking about their posh bottoms, now it’s a right mission, a hunt to the death for toilet roll. I do find the lack of toilet roll in the shops funny; I mean what possible use could the public have for large quantities of toilet roll. It’s not close to Halloween for dressing like a mummy, you surely don’t need that many toilet roll tubes for crafts, and the virus doesn’t give you the poops. But I am disappointed in humankind that I must ask what is pasta? What do baked beans or tinned tomatoes look like? All types of hygiene materials and tissue, tins, jars, meat, frozen food, and bread, are being stripped from the shelves by crazed shoppers, leaving some isles in the supermarkets bare. I am more than disappointed on this week’s shop; I am angry at other shoppers taking more than they need. The guy in front of me has just taken six, which is all the punnets of blueberries, stopping me from getting this breakfast and snack item. And as I watch him walk off, I think he’s probably going to take so many other items from me. In the past, when I have complained about stock levels, my Grandparents have always said, ‘back in war time’, well this is close enough thanks very much. People are being silly, selfish, and stupid and the shops are not ready for the rush. Forget what you have seen at Christmas, sales season, or any other public holiday; the shops are a battlefield, people have lost their manners and are fighting for supplies.

But I am not innocent. I am disappointed in myself. Embarrassed to admit that my partner and I have caught the fever, rather than the full ‘panic buyer disease’. It started so naively, we popped to get a few items and notice limited stock of products we were running low on. And before we noticed, creeping anxiety disguised as rational, has made us buy two or three of each non-perishable item, long date coded produce we never buy, frozen fruit and vegetables, even those we had managed to get the fresh alternative. At home we are filling our fridge, freezer, and cupboards to the brim, uncertain of what might come next.

I would like to say I am sorry, but I am remorseless, I feel relieved I have food and don’t need to worry about what the shops do and don’t have in stock. I know we can eat, although maybe not to my Slimming World plan. It’s not a good time to start or continue a diet, trying to live a healthier lifestyle is becoming more trying by the minute, even as I type this I am thinking of indulgent snacks of chocolate, crisps… But the lack of choices in the supermarket this week has made us more creative, we are adapting recipes, and with some success as I have lost 2lbs this week.  But I honestly think things are only set to get worse, before they get better, and having full cupboards makes me feel safe.

While the contagious panic buyer disease is spreading, people are getting close to others in shops, crammed together in ques, and pushing past others to strip the shelf of its produce first. It would appear we have totally forgotten how Covid-19 spreads. I am fortunate that my handwashing has kept me safe and to date I am well. But can the same be said for my fellow panic buying shoppers?

Luckily, as we have moved through the week, the shops have responded to the panic buyer by enforcing a quantity limit on products. And thank goodness they have, so finally people will know what pasta is again. For the week ahead, I promise to try not to hoard food, and only buy what I have planned for my healthy meals. Rationing in peace time, whoever would have thought it?