After last night’s announcement of big ifs and not a lot of clarity of our road map out of here, I am in need of a positive distraction. Lucky for me I am a dog owner and Lady is random as they come. She has some interesting toys; spoilt you might call her by her selection. But today she has a moustache toy in her mouth upside down that has reduced me to tears. I realise you can’t see her, so imagine a black giant moustache upside down in a black dog’s mouth – I am creased. Thank goodness for my dog to give me some sanity and perspective back.

I am also fortunate to have hobbies and be involved in Scouting. This week Scouting has taken centre stage as I prepare to help run and attend my first ever virtual camp @ home with Durham county Scouts. I am ecstatic and am loving getting ready for the weekend with script writing, recordings, meetings, and rehearsals. I feel like I am riding the fast corona coaster of fun and for now I don’t want to get off.

However, like all roller coasters this week is going to have ups and downs. Today was a slump. I keep replaying last night’s meeting and questioning my actions. Was I too outspoken? Did I interrupt people, even if by accident, how was it viewed by others? Did I give my team mates enough opportunity to voice their opinions? Well that’s a relief, although I am clearly worrying it is all about common issues from communicating on a virtual platform rather than in person. So tonight, I am having a night off. Taking time for me. The bath is running with bubbles, my colouring book and Netflix are waiting.

Wednesday arrives and last night worked like a charm, I feel back to my normal bubbly self. Lesson learned; I must plan in me time to keep my sanity.  However, tonight’s planning is ramping up including a run through of the campfire. Testing out new technology that splits the screen and allows streaming of multiple audio, picture and video files. Let me tell you, seeing myself replicated on the screen three times is hilarious. For the real run through the screen is split between a video of a crackling fire, song words, the hosts screen, and the camp song performer. You’ve gotta love technology. The night ends with a spontaneous badge swop, started by a friend asking about one badge and then the spare badges were unleashed. For those of you that don’t know Scouts earn and then later collect and swop badges. Tonight, it is a virtual swop over a video call, badges are not the only swops going on. We are swooping tales of the good old days when we were youth members. I have to say now we are leaders, 13 years on from our first meeting, I don’t feel like much has changed.

Thursday brought our weekly Scout meeting and the theme of mental health, ahead of mental health awareness week. I can’t help thinking how prominent the theme is right now and how much of a toll this is taking on us all. Through Pixar’s Inside Out movie, music, along with positive and negative statements about lockdown life, I succeeded, I hope, in showing that life is a rollercoaster of emotions. I know I am riding corona coaster this week and so why would it be any different for our younger Scouts. We all have good and bad days, where our emotions take centre stage. But we have a choice, we can bring ourselves down on the bad times or choose to celebrate the successes no matter how small. So, this week’s home challenge is to record weekly wins, focusing on the positives.

Friday has arrived and with it so many weekly wins. I might be riding a rollercoaster bit I choose to focus on the highs and let the lows pass me by. On that note it is time for the tech run through for camp @ home. For the first time I am starting to feel the nervous. I have been telling myself not seeing the audience will be better as I am less likely to get stage fright. However, the audience could and has been larger on virtual events than we would have at a live event. Then there is the fact I will be standing on my own in my sitting room with no one to back me up. Well here we go.

It’s Saturday morning, yesterday’s rehearsal was a success, Ben and I just have a natural flow at co-hosting, we’ve got this. So why do I still have butterflies in my tummy. I distract myself with walking the dog, hanging out the wash and then it is time for the real fun to begin. It’s just 30 minutes. I don’t need to be nervous. I won’t even be able to see my audience – just their comments. Deep breath and here we go!

So, I don’t get stage fright, don’t freeze, don’t panic. I loved it and am on cloud 9. There are so many supportive comments from the opening ceremony, 4000 to be exact and with over 1,400 members in the Facebook group, I feel like I have helped just a little to spread some scouting joy. I am enjoying looking through the posts from the session and on the Facebook group for the event. Photos of dancing including cotton eye jo, Mexican waves, oggie, oggie, oggies and engagement watching Ben and me (Dee) having a good time engaging them. Now I think it’s time to get my camp built inside and prep for the campfire.

Its Sunday and I’ve just closed camp with my co-host Ben with singing, dancing, Mexican waves, and a great reflection on what has been an amazing weekend of adventure. For the first time I want to thank Covid-19 for bringing me into the technology age and pushing me out of my comfort zone. I feel empowered, proud, and energised by the atmosphere from this weekend. The possibilities for the future seem endless. I can dance, sing, and home adventure my way through this lockdown. But I am shattered so in the words I closed camp ‘let’s keeeeeep scouting’.