Welcome to bank holiday Monday and a relief from work, shops, and the chores of life. We have taken the opportunity to chill and totally relax with board games, movies, cuddles and play time with Lady.

Yet there is no escape from Covid-19, news, social media and my own mind are filled with the Prime minister’s update yesterday, his plans to: send some of our young people back to school at the start of June, non-essential shops can start opening. But what can he and we possibly do to accommodate and make schools safe in one week? ‘It will be tough’ and ‘staged’ doesn’t cover it. I am shocked and can only imagine how parents and educators are feeling. They are already trying to do the impossible to keep key workers and vulnerable children safe. So what if other countries have sent their children back to school? I know some people who cannot work from home have returned. But I am safe working from home, a return to the office is far from discussion. When I do go out in public and especially to the shops, I don’t feel safe. What assurances can the government and schools give that they are going to be able to keep our young people safe?

Then there is the fact that, full steam ahead on reopening society has come at a time when members of the government have been caught breaching guidance and are excused by because of circumstances. The shamed government minister is what fills the media channels. How can the government expect the public to keep to the guidance when they themselves don’t? The public health message seems undermined and watered down. How can he make exceptions for people in his government that are worried? Aren’t we all worried? Why would I choose to go into a cramped environment with shoppers? Why would parents send their children into a school? How can we trust a government that says they have measures in place to keep us safe and then let’s its members get away with breaking lockdown restrictions?

There have been people flaunting the rules from the beginning. We’ve all heard or seen it happen: a visitor to a neighbour’s house, large gathering of dog walkers, mothers’ meetings, young people or families in the park. The shops – let’s not get started on that last one. But when people in power, with influence break the rules it only encourages the masses. So, as we begin this week, I feel more anxious than ever about Covid-19 and am fearful for myself and the people I love.

But life is a good distraction and Tuesday has brought work. Now although I have that Monday feeling, work is a welcomed distraction and things with my fiancé couldn’t be better. Tonight, we work in tandem, reading each other’s body language to successfully make tea, feed the dog and tidy up, all while holding a civilised conversation. Looks like the tides are turning and we can make this week good.

Not only has it been good it is also going fast – it’s Thursday already and this week’s virtual Scout meeting we are completing an escape room. The kids are really excited and well so am I. Who says we can’t have an adventure from our own homes? Tonight, we visit Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry, racing in two teams to solve the puzzles. It goes down so well, I am inclined to say better than it would have in person.

It is so good; we decide to try Durham escape room with our Scouting friend who supported our Hogwarts fun last night. It was fun though not Hogwarts- but what is? Then Saturday evening brings amazing views as we watch the launch of Nasa SpaceX Dragon, after an aborted mission on Wednesday due to bad weather, excitement has been building and we are not disappointed: it is out of this world.

The fact is there are so many virtual places you can visit in lockdown; you can travel virtual miles just about anywhere. I mean we have just travelled to the space station this weekend. While back on earth museums, galleries and zoos across the globe are all offering virtual tours online. We set the Scouts last week the challenge to visit an air museum as part of research for a badge. Working on badges at home has gone down well, so well that we are planning a bulk order for a virtual awards evening. But that is a surprise, a secret, a celebration yet to come for my Scouts. I am so proud of all our young people that are staying focused on having fun during lockdown.

I feel that the changes that have come about in the last few months have helped us all to grow. For my Scouts this is easily measured in their badge success and engagement in sessions. In my home life, Lady is accepting the change to her routine by resting in the sun, laying at my side as I work and playing with toys rather than going out when she used to. The jobs get done as and when, rather than mounting up. In my personal life, I am proud of my weight loss, exercise and more relaxed mind. Don’t get me wrong, things are busier than ever. However, my time is spent on the things I always seem to write on the new year’s resolution list, but never complete. I think you’d agree 35lbs weight loss to date is not bad going. Then there is the fact I can now jog half an hour at ease, it just seems revolutionary, a first for me.

Yet, as I sit in the sunshine today eating my breakfast while listening to headspace radio, the realisation washes over me. It is so true! It has been a slow transition. Every element of it has been a journey, some parts more congested than others by commuting, rush hour traffic, crashes, and road closures. However, the ups and downs where all valuable as they led me to where I am today. I mean, in the past I often thought of rubbing out some of my story: feelings of being thick as I  struggled through school, feelings of failure when I almost flunked a module at uni, feelings of horror at my Mams close shave with death, feelings of being inadequate when my husband left me. But through each of these times I had support from loving family and friends. And I truly believe these life events make me who I am. I am not just saying this to be cliché or dramatic. And although some memories surface and hurt at times, I am thankful for the reminder that I am stronger from the experiences.

So here I am sat in the sunshine, content with my lovely life, fitness, diet, weight, fiancé, family, work, hobbies. I can’t help but draw parallels to some of my favourite literary characters: Jasmine from Aladdin, Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice, Beatrix Potter a fantastic author, Bridget Jones and the list goes on.

So, this is what it truly feels like to have inner peace. Now I’m not claiming it’s perfect, you only have to read back over the last week or two to realise how imperfect my life is. But for once I don’t mind. I’m not working on it. I am just singing my own kind of music and it sounds good enough to me.